How to Recognize and Accept the Exhilarating Cleansing Renewing Liberating Delivery of Grief

Grief paralyzes us. Without having lost anyone or anything in particular, grief exists as a staunch weary-eyed overworked sentinel protecting us from even one more ounce of unexpected disappointment and/or dismay.

We are always on guard, though not consciously aware of our frontal barricaded behavior, projecting a semi-foreboding ‘warning approach’ to anyone who carelessly ventures into uninvited ‘personal space.’

Our stylized grief depends on our previously experienced emotional background experiences; the ones we do recall, along with those we can’t recall but indelibly linger in our unconscious as exposed bloody pellets from a rusty unused rifle.

Although we are unable to place a specific name upon the unintentional worry, doubt and anxiousness we unobtrusively carry, our stressed-out, panic filled, determinedly comparable, and ridiculously competitive lives speak volumes of the unmentionable guest hiding deep in the corridors of our minds.

No need to question whether he inhabits, inhibits and influences our being; one little inadvertent word, unplanned gesture, facial expression or reflexive tone can send us reeling.

The extended effort to offset unbearable emotional pain governs our meticulous exactness in trying to ‘get things right’, be seen as a ‘good and decent person’ and last but not least, wanting to be acknowledged and appreciated for being so special.

The unidentified culprit ‘grief’ lauds upon us our extensive concern for what others think, say and do. We are so consumed by the significance of their input, we lose our own footing. When giving grief unbridled reign, an overly exaggerated emphasis on negative thoughts swarm our minds, discoloring our views and infecting our impulses.

Although intended as a means of protection, the unfortunate result is a morbidly depressive attitude and sense of defeat. We seriously wonder if we’ll ever be able to recover from the loss.

We exaggerate the reality of our being singled out, “Why did this have to happen to me?” Or contemplate excessively, “When is the bottom going to fall out?” “How will I make it iF I lose my job?”

Some may see this state of affairs as neurotic but far be it from the classically conditioned abnormal behavior, as opposed to the reality that it’s the mind’s militant mechanism to repress grief unable to be born in the individual at the time experienced.

Deeply imbedded thwarted issues are being brought to the surface at an entrusted pace, offered as a necessary means to dissolve and remove. When one feels himself/herself to be socially irrelevant, the cave of unsolicited horrors opens for inspection.

When we experience true loss, when we are deprived of a familiar love, we are devastated; the inconsolable bereavement is incalculably unbearable. Tears are expediently wonderful as nuanced expressions.

Our precious ruthless soul luxuriates in the occurrence of their uprising. For they serve two purpose: one, to cleanse the musty crevices of guilt, regret, remorse, shame, embarrassment and two, restore energetic life infused balance.

However, sometimes, we assign the loitering sense of loss with something or someone on the outside who has let us down, disavowed us in some way or even dejected and abandoned us.

Something of much greater magnitude is taking place. We are in a splendid position to see what’s going on ‘down under’ IF we are aware enough to recognize the resplendent relative signs of grief attached.

Instead of adding more to the event, or inverting the incident to a lesser degree in order to cope, merely define the layer (get in touch by recognizing and acknowledging the unusual unaccustomed sensation) just beneath the surface of enormous emotional pain.

Most often times, however, we are so caught up in the emotional parasitical excitement attached to the drama of our heart breaking disappointments, we mentally transport ourselves away from the crystal clear moment of divine liberated delivery in the emptiness we are overtly experiencing.

Am I dismissing the normal sorrow adjacent to painfully enshrouded circumstances? Absolutely not! We are on earth to experience the highs and lows of learning how to be totally human. Death is an integral part of the inexpressible process of living.

But, what I am saying is that there is a “peace that passes all understanding’ that enables us to survive, thrive, grow and evolve through and past our most horrific pain filled human affairs.